As we enter into book four, we are quickly introduced to the fact that “My Ántonia” has turned into “poor Ántonia”. We see this gender conflict between Jim and Ántonia. Although Jim loves her, he has expectations that she act like a “normal” and “respectable” woman. Jim holds her to the standards of his society’s expectations and judges her harshly when she lives a different life. We saw this conflict earlier in the novel, Jim did not like Ántonia working, talking, acting, even stretching, anything like a man. Ántonia takes on a hard burden after her father dies and Jim finds fault with her because of it. At the beginning of book four this happens once again as Jim harshly criticizes Ántonia, although she was scammed, impregnated and abandoned. “I tried to shut Antonia out of my mind, I was bitterly disappointed in her. I could not forgive her for becoming an object of pity…” (Cather 223). Jim then goes on to explain how Lena Lingard is much more respectable. It seems to be that, as the setting changes and Jim is in a city, he has lost sight of much of his compassion and understanding for the world around him. The quotation shows that Jim has become absorbed into city life and the expectations of society and he has lost sight of the girl he once loved.

However, just four pages later, when he sees the picture of Ántonia’s child hanging for all to see he is shaken awake and begins to remember who he is, “Another girl would have kept her baby out of sight, but Tony of course must have its picture on exhibition at the town photographer’s in a gilt frame. How like her! I could forgive her, I told myself, if she hadn’t thrown herself away on such a cheap sort of fellow.” (pg 227) This quotation shows us that Jim seems to be stuck in this internal struggle. What makes Ántonia different infuriates him, but the things that make her different are also the reason he loves her so much. Cather uses this relationship to show that even when you love someone deeply, you can be put off by the things that make them different. Society has always criticized differences whether it be race, ethnicity, gender etc. What makes you different is typically what society deems as “wrong” with you.

As the novel goes on, Lena Lingard convinces Jim to go and visit Antonia who is now married and has a big family. As Jim re enters the country scenery he quickly melts. Jim sees Antonia and remarks on how her eyes are just the same as he remembers. Ántonia is full of fire and life as she has always been. It takes coming into this scene, stepping away from the city life and expectations, for Jim to realize that he loves Ántonia just the way she is, as he always has. Cather is commenting on the fact that it is sometimes impossible to view things clearly while in the thick of society and its influences.